independent of me.

Is this normal?

The strength of what I feel?

Am I too emotional?

Or too repressed?

 

I try to avoid melodrama

I just try to keep quiet

About the storm raging inside my heart

Ignore my pain.

 

I tip-toe around my anger

and try not to trigger the fury

Disregard the hate that comes

too easily to my features.

 

one day the screaming inside

will force it’s way out

and it will rage, rage on

independent of me.

____________________________________________________________
They want me to be quiet

They want me to not care, be chill

Only laugh with them

when they want me to.

 

But I can’t breathe anymore

There’s no space inside

Fading to numbness

Fading to blackness.

 

The only option is at home

wait out the storm

Keep pushing out

Until I am nothing.

 

Until everything I’ve worked toward

Forgets me and falls apart

How did I get here

After all I’ve done.

 

But is what I feel real

Am I just imagining what I see

That would be the worst thing

to find I don’t actually feel.

One thought on “independent of me.

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